External Narratives - How Healing Can Be Hard On Relationships with Heather McKean and McKenzie Brewster
In this episode of The Mind Change Podcast, host Heather McKean and practitioner McKenzie Brewster explore the concept of external narratives and their impact on relationships, particularly in the context of healing.
McKenzie kicks off the discussion by introducing external narratives as the subconscious scripts that influence our behaviors and relationships. She explains that these narratives often serve a functional purpose, shaping our identities and responses to various life situations, including illness and trauma. This sets the stage for a conversation about the challenges that arise when one person in a relationship undergoes healing and transformation, while the other continues to view them through the lens of their past struggles.
Heather draws on her experience in acting to illustrate the idea of following a script in life. She describes how our brains seek efficiency and familiarity, often leading us to rely on predefined roles and identities in our interactions with others. This can create discomfort and confusion when someone deviates from the expected script, both on stage and in real life.
The conversation then shifts to personal anecdotes, with Heather sharing her frustration when her husband continued to view her as a sick person even after she had healed. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the roles both parties play in a relationship and the need for patience and empathy during times of transition.
McKenzie adds her own insights, recounting her journey of returning to her family after healing and the adjustments they had to make in their perceptions of her. She highlights the challenge of breaking free from the roles we've been assigned and the importance of creating space for others to evolve alongside us.
Finally, both Heather and McKenzie touch on traditional therapy models and their limitations in addressing external narratives. They discuss how traditional therapy often focuses on identifying toxic relationships or environments, without delving into the deeper subconscious programming that perpetuates these patterns. Heather emphasizes that true healing requires addressing these deeply ingrained beliefs, often rooted in childhood experiences.
Embrace change and recognize that true healing involves rewiring outdated narratives and fostering understanding and compassion in relationships. Tune in! You will discover how by doing Mind Change inner work, you can create healthier dynamics and move towards authentic connection and growth.
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